The opening exchanges in Gladiator II feature a sea-borne invasion by the Romans.

And it’s absolutely thrilling. Scott somehow brings a new feel to a battle scene that is visceral and breath-taking.

It’s even got Mando in there, sort of.

Just before that we get a text-based beginning that sets the scene. basically, everything Maximus did was for nowt and turns out, he was a naughty boy.

From what I’ve seen, Russell C isn’t overly happy and was never asked to be in the film. I stand corrected if I wrong, but that’ directly from Crowe.

Anyway, so these two massive weirdo twins are inexplicably in charge of the whole Empire for reasons known only to Ridley and off we go.

There’s the usual tragedy-creates-a-gladiator narrative, starring an honorable ripped dude who’s just lovely – but well hard.

Lots of diverse friendship groups, angry monkeys, some sharks and a wise doctor. So all that’s checked off the list.

Apart from, that is, any real storyline – only one that is taking the piss out of the first film.

I adore Scott’s body of work, but I had my concerns with his last two Alien pictures that were patchy at best. Again, the storyline just didn’t make sense.

Gladiator II is the same. However, it’s bloody good fun.

Emperor twins Caracalla (Fred hechinger) and Geta (Joseph Quinn) are delightfully creepy and unhinged, despite having no clue how they came to power

And hey, where else are you gonna see sharks in the coliseum as part of a battle of boats? Nowhere, that’s where.

Paul Mescal is actually really good as Lucius – the kid from the first one. Certainly, regular sex and gardening seem to have done wonders for his guns.

Both of which he’ll need for the many coming battles where he sadly makes it all look too easy.

Gladiator II is best watched feet up, laid back and ready to enjoy the ride. Don’t ask too many questions or get your hopes up and you’ll be walking through a field of grain before you know it.

Just remember, there’s angry fighting monkeys and sharks. If that doesn’t get your Roman wine flowing, nothing will.

Verdict:
Story: 5.5/10
Characters: 7/10
Overall: 6.5/10
Should you watch it?: Yes.
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